Top Ten Hottest Video Game Girls OF ALL TIIIIME!

13 11 2007

I have no online friends. No one ever MEME’s me. So, being the industrious person that I am, I MEME’d myself. And I tag no one.

How ’bout that?

Here are, in my not so humble opinion, the top ten hottest video game chicks of all time. I know you don’t agree. Go make your own G.D. list

I can’t post pictures, of course. That would be a copyright infringement. So if you want to see these beauties, you’ll have to click their names.

10. This is a tie between Rinoa Heartilly, FF-VIII (PS) and Kid, Chrono Cross (PS). Rinoa is just an absolute sweetheart, the kind of girl you want to marry…unlike my number one, who is the kind of girl you want to –ahem– Kid, on the other hand, is just this quirky cutie that looks like she would be a lot of fun to hang around with, in or out of bed.

9. Rose, from The Legend of the Dragoon (PS). I remember when I was playing this game for the first time, the story line kept pushing the MC toward this other girl named Shanna, and I kept going “Noooooooooooo!!!!” Rose is a hot and flirty bad-ass. Shanna is kind of mousy and annoying. The truth about Rose at the end of the game is a jaw-dropper…but no spoilers here. Great game.

8. Claire Redfield, Resident Evil 2. (PS) I have a soft spot in my heart for RE2 anyway, as it is the first video game that I ever bought and played all the way through. This was during the “depression era” of my mid to late 30’s, after I lost my mom to cancer and my wife and I split up, and believe it or not, buying that stupid PlayStation and a copy of RE2 really pulled me back from the brink of a dark, dark place. In a time when I used to lay in bed and wonder if or not I could possibly face the day ahead, I found a reason to get up and get moving. When I got off work, I could load that G.D. game and try to figure the G.D. thing out. It came with two disks; you could play as Claire or Leon. I figured if I was going to have to sit and stare at somebody’s ass for God knew how many hours (it’s a third person perspective game) it sure as hell wasn’t going to be Leon’s. I think I fell in love with Claire a little during that time. She’s a sweetie. I still love her a little. She helped me through a really tough time.

7. Quistis Trepe, FF-VIII. (PS) Such a sweet girl…such a big whip. Gotta love a woman with some authority.

6. Aya Brea, Parasite Eve and Parasite Eve 2. (PS) The first Parasite Eve game was hailed as “The Cinematic RPG,” and it certainly lived up to that hype . Gorgeous game. Parasite Eve 2, on the other hand, has the “shower scene.” Go ahead. Click on it. You know you want to.

5. Konoko, Oni. (PS) We’ve all heard the old expression that “dynamite comes in small packages.” It applies to little Konoko, and my my my, what a fine little package she is indeed. She looks good in her police uniform, and even better when it is half ripped off of her. Also, as you can see from the picture, the girl knows how to handle a “big gun.” What’s even better, during game play you can press a particular button to make her taunt her opponents. It’s been years since I played this game, but I cam still hear her pretty voice in my mind…”You’re gonna get beat by a girl!” Ahhh, saucy little Konoko…

4. Regina, Dino Crisis and Dino Crisis 2. (PS) This lady is all bad-ass, period. Gorgeous blood-red hair and beautiful brown, almond-shaped eyes. Virtually every female character that I write has some element of Regina in her. If you’ve ever read William Gibson’s book Neuromancer, then you are familiar with the character of Molly. Change Regina’s hair color to black and implant some mirrored shades on her eyes and you’ve got my mental image of Molly. I love that “rose bud” hairstyle, too.

3. Rikku, FF X and FF X-2. (PS2) Ahhh. We work our way up into the top three. At the number three position, meet Rikku. She’s sort of a hippie chick in a lot of ways, but with a modern-day hard-body. She also has the cutest butt of any video game girl that I have ever seen (not pictured, alas). In FF X, when the group first encounters Rikku, you get this awesome CG clip in which the camera–behind her– starts at Rikku’s feet and slowly rises to reveal her character (and the aforementioned cute booty), inch by delectable inch. I always forget to save just prior to that point, and it’s probably a good thing. I’d never finish the stupid game.

2. I can’t remember the acronym for “don’t open this at work,” but it applies. Welcome Ms. Lara Croft, of Tomb Raider fame. (Various) There’s not really much I can add to what has already been said about this gorgeous Brit, her reputation definitely precedes her. I just wish Dumb-ass Duke Nuke’m would get the hell out of the picture.

1. And at last, we reach the top spot. None other than Hana Tsu-Vachel, from Fear Effect and Fear Effect: Retro Helix. I haven’t figured out if Hana is lesbian or bisexual, and honestly, I don’t care. I do know that the elevator scene between Hana and her girlfriend Rain in Retro Helix is TO DIE FOR, and Rain is pretty freakin hot too. The tag-line for this game is “They put the ‘ass’ in assassination.” Yes they do. Yes indeed they do. If you ever play the game you will notice that the developers spent a great deal of time on the animation involved in the way that Hana walks. When you see the way her gorgeous behind swings back and forth, you can only agree that it was time well spent. I think it is Retro Helix that opens with a scene in which Hana (formerly a prostitute) is in a bathroom fixing herself up after a session with one of her “clients.” The camera pans around to reveal said “client” in a very gory state of “not alive-ness,” and Hana, eyebrow jauntily cocked, looks back toward the bed and asks: “So was it worth dying for?” I consider it a testament to the utter hotness of Hana Tsu-Vachel that, in the same position, I’m still not sure how I would answer that question.

———-

Credits:
Hana…..www.mtv.com
Lara…..lifeslittleanswers.blogspot.com
Regina…..www.media-assault.com
Rikku…..board.bitefight.es
Aya…..www.answers.com and http://www.psxzone.opalnet.pl
Konoko…..www.sp.lt
Quistis…..www.geocities.com
Claire…..qbar.qq.com
Rose…..www.gaiaonline.com
Rinoa…..www.geocities.com
Kid…..www.destructoid.com

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7 responses

3 01 2008
Shannon

Alex Vance from HL2 should be in this list

6 01 2008
alex

alyx vance ftw…. besides, u end up follwing her ass around through the whole game, the least she can do is fuk u or something

17 01 2008
Buster

Alex Vance rules. This list sucked. And that comment by “Alex”… tacky tacky, must have been written by a 14year old or a bored frat boy.

18 02 2008
Russell

Look up Alexandra Roivas from Eternal Darkness: Sanity’s Requiem. Beauty AND brains. ❤

23 01 2009
bob

Zoey from Left 4 Dead

27 04 2009
EdCoFu

Certainly all FinalFantasy or other SquareEnix game women rulez. just look for it^^

28 07 2009
Jon

Hmmm. I love the fact that Rose made the list. She’s probably my favorite. Try looking up KOS-MOS from Xenosaga.

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