Blogs Of Un-Note

19 05 2007

It has occurred to me that Vacuum Genesis is unlikely ever to become a Blogger “Blog Of Note.” It may be that I refuse to run ads, and turn my blog into a cash cow for “The Man,” or maybe you have to have more than ten or twelve readers. Either way, it’s an honor that I suppose I will have to live without. I think it a bit unfair that so few blogs get the lion’s share of attention, while the rest of us have to toil away in relative obscurity. To that end, then, I have invented the VACUUM GENESIS BLOGS OF UN-NOTE.

From time to time I will search out blogs at random (using the handy “next blog” button at the top of my screen) and bring them to your attention. These are blogs by regular shleps like you and me…people who blog their little hearts out, without recognition or encouragement. Here then are the first VACUUM GENESIS BLOGS OF UN-NOTE

Ilse’s Story Blog
Some 16-year-old girl in Rotterdam : Zuid-Holland : Netherlands. An aspiring screenwriter, I think, with the longest G.D. first-page profile snippet that I have ever seen. Looks like a good kid, but I learned in this blog that it is legal for kids her age to drink alcohol as long as the alcoholic content is less than 18% WTF is wrong with those Netherlands people?

The Hanlon Family Blog
One of the most amazing things I guess I’ve ever seen. Apparently the Hanlon’s baby girl, Ellie, writes her own blog entries. She looks to be about six months old. I’ve seen blogs written by animals…cats, usually, but of course they were much older. Truly fascinating.

Dhammonia
Arguably the Internet’s most boring blog. This has something to do with reading, I think. Or travel. Breakfast figures largely into whatever is going on. Here’s an excerpt, chosen at random:
In the day and a half before we left for Chicago, we managed to finish a box of cereal in 3 sessions. That is recommended for 12 cups of serving for breakfast. Not only that, the milk gallon-can, also experienced an untimely end at our hands, largely due to being mixed with the cereal. Much arguments ensued over our pigging, but our appetite prevailed.

THE SEVENTH TABLET OF ISHTAR
I thought this was going to be one of those self-serving “my absurd babbling is the highest form of art” blogs. In fact it is an in-depth and thought provoking examination of all the various ways in which one can use the term “fuck,” complete with alternate acceptable spellings. Based solely on presentation, it would be easy to dismiss this blog as mindless drivel, but as the author of this blog likes to say: “THE NUMBER OF THE MONKEYS BEING INDETERMINATE REDUCES THE NEED FOR TIMING.” I couldn’t agree more.

Quincy the PAWS Pup
Well I’ll be damned. I had no sooner noted that most animal bloggers are usually a bit older than young Ellie (see above), when what should the same random blog search turn up but this: a blog written by a labrador/golden retriever mix pup surely no more than a few weeks old. I had always been under the impression that dogs didn’t see very well, and were color blind. This blog proves one point, and calls into question the other. The color scheme on this blog would seem to indicate that dogs do indeed suffer from color blindness, but their basic vision must be exceptional as Quincy has chosen a font-size approaching that of large sub-atomic particles.

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